Weddings.

  • Me: Hi, I am the harpist. Where should park?
  • Guy in blue shirt: Right over here, let us know if you need any help!
  • Me: Thanks!
  • -Parks Car-
  • -Opens trunk-
  • -Five more guys in blue shirts swarm around the car-
  • Guys: Hey we can get that for you! We totally got this.
  • Me: Oh thanks, I can handle the harp but if you would like to take my music stand and chair that would be great!
  • Guys: Are you sure?
  • Me: Yep! Thanks!
  • -Gets harp out of car-
  • -Wheels harp along gravel path-
  • -Guys trot behind me like puppies-
  • -Harp makes it to the first of three flights of brick stairs-
  • Guys: Here, we can carry it down!
  • Me: No thanks! I can just ease it down on the dolly. I can use one guys just to stead it on the way down.
  • -I make it down the first flight of stairs-
  • -Another random guy walks up and grabs the harp column-
  • Me: Um, thanks but we've got it!
  • -ANOTHER random guy comes up-
  • Guy: here I can pick it up from the bottom.
  • Me: NO DON'T PICK IT UP FROM THE BOTTOM. I've got it. thank. you.
  • -Makes it down the first flight of stairs-
  • Another random guy: Here lets load it on the golf cart and go really slow so it won't fall off!
  • Me: IT WON'T FIT. I'VE GOT IT. THANK YOU.
  • -Guy looks at me like I am insane-
  • Me: Trust me, I've tried.
  • -Guy watches me wrestling the harp for a while-
  • Guy: Are you sure you don't want to just try?
  • Me: YES THANK YOU I'VE GOT IT.
  • -_-
  • I know I look like a spindly girl but I can manage my harp like a beast for the record. I'VE GOT THIS.

How to Buy a House When You are Young and Creditless Part 1

So, I bought a house. 

There should be a college class on how to purchase a house.

Not that I would take it, but there really should be a guide somewhere. As an 18 year old home owner, I was thoroughly unprepared for the complexities accompanying the purchase of an item that will take you the rest of your life to pay for. After a relatively quiet existence, I was suddenly thrown into a dark world of HUD statements, escrow accounts, energy bills and a bucket load of account numbers. I found out today that according to the gas company I am working with, I don’t exist. So now I have to go to the Social Security office and have them prove my existence so I can get gas for my house. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had been handling it well up until then I must say. But today… today was a bad day. And there really should be a How-To guide for this.

So, I am making one. 

Introducing Part 1 of How To Buy a House When You are Young and Creditless

1. You decide to buy a house. Great! Super exciting and crazy fun! Decide what your needs are for the house and then start working with a realtor to find one. 

2. Find the house. This may take more time than you think it should. It only took three weeks for me but there were two houses that we were relatively excited about and just when we thought it might work HELLO they are already under contract. Don’t freak out. It was a providential closed door; there is a better one out there with your name on it. 

3. Make an offer on said house. Go sign a bazillion forms with your parents at the realtor’s office. Have dad read all the fine print and just write your name where the highlighter marks are :) Advice: try to make your signature look somewhat grown up and always sign your full name with a middle initial. And try to sign it the same way every time. 

4. Wait for the offer to go through. HEY LOOK they took the bait! Now schedule a house inspection. Some people don’t go with the Inspector for the inspection but I would highly recommend going. Not only is it most enlightening to be there in person and receive immediate information on the state of your future dwelling, but it also provides you with excellent photo taking time, which you will desperately need to pass the time for the next six weeks until the house is yours. 

5. Go to the bank and take out a loan. This takes a long time. Like, a really long time. So be prepared. If you start getting bored while watching the banker type away on his keypad you can stare out the window at the little bush outside and dream of all the things you can do in your new house. 

6. Schedule a closing date. This date… Will sear itself in your brain… As you lie sleeping in your bed… It will dance in front of your closed eye lids… You think it is soon, but every time you see it coming around the corner it scampers away laughing as you feebly clutch at… Whoa. Okay. Um, yeah just uh schedule the closing date. 

7. While waiting for the closing date to arrive, try to figure out what your tastes are with regards to interior decoration. If you were like me and bought a house when you were least expecting it, you will be utterly unprepared to start thinking about kitchen countertops and area rugs. Also become a Craigslist stalker and check it every hour so that you can be the first to POUNCE on the good deals. Maybe make some yard sale rounds so that you will have more than a twin bed to fill the house. Basically, kill time until the week before closing when you get to…..

Part 2 coming soon. 

Anatomy of a Piano: Burt Part 2

Step 11: Do one more tuning and then let the master technician do the final tuning.

Step 12: Let the master technician finish the regulation.

Step 13: Let the master technician refinish the front board. :)

Step 14: Show up to help deliver the piano to a very happy household.

image

LOOK HOW PRETTY HE IS!!!! 

More tears when we got there. We wheeled cute Burt in and removed the lousy-good-for-nothing previous piano who does not get a name. We have since concluded that the piano must have been dropped at some point in the past. The little girl has a recital coming up and can now practice on a functioning piano! The Wheels On the Bus never sounded this good…

Up next: Piano Demolition - Step by Step Destruction of a Useless Object

Ivanhoe Book Review

Ohhhhhh let me tell you about this book.

It has it all. Knights and fair maidens. Truth and deception. Betrayal and loyalty. True love and fateful lust. Jousting tournaments and an epic battle for a castle. Wounded warriors’ fevered brows being tenderly washed by the slender fingers of a beautiful Jewess. 

Does it get any better?!

Of knights and fair maidens didn’t used to make my heart flutter. I think it could be a last ditch effort to cling to whatever remnants of childhood are left in my last days of being mortgage free. (more on that later). At any rate, Ivanhoe was exactly what the doctor ordered to get me back into reading. If you remember my last post about literature, I had given up reading a Grisham novel in favor of reveling in the word art of classical literature. 

“At a little distance, on the right hand, a fountain of the purest water trickled out of the rock, and was received in a hollow stone, which labour had formed into a rustic basin. Escaping from thence, the stream murmured down th descent by a channel which its course had long worn, and so wandered through the little plain to lose itself in the neighbouring wood.”

They stopped writing like that after the early 1900’s. (except for Tolkien.) Sir Walter Scott’s writing is a lovely balance of lush description, but not excessive detail, like Mr. Cooper’s The Last of the Mohicans in which every blade of grass and dejected shrub must be chronicled in exact terms and translated to your feeble brain to project as accurately as humanly possible. Scott has the ability to give unique character to ordinary objects with tasteful poignancy that doesn’t verge on verbosity. 

“The guests were seated at a table which groaned under the quantity of good cheer.”

“My vengeance is awake, and she is a falcon that slumbers not til she has been gorged.”

My appetite for word-art satisfied, I quickly became intrigued with a fascinating plot that I had almost overlooked in my hunger for big words. The title, Ivanhoe, is really rather misleading because the book is more about King Richard the Lionhearted and a woman named Rebecca than it is about Wilfred of Ivanhoe. King Richard returns to England to reclaim his throne from his scoundrel brother Prince John and crosses paths with Ivanhoe, Robin Hood and his Merry Men (WHAT!? Robin Hood is in this book too?!?! Ohhh yes. Because a knight in shining armor fighting for his beloved Rowena and King Richard battling for his kingdom definitely does NOT meet the manly-man requirement for this book…) and a band a rogue knights with an evil scheme to carry off said maidens to marry them and/or make a small fortune in ransom money. Many adventures follow with a substantial amount of comic relief provided by the fool Wamba, Friar Tuck, and the never ending rivalry betwixt the Normans and the Saxons. 

Ivanhoe also makes some deeper statements on the philosophies of the day, chiefly revolving around a particularly dark season for Christianity and the emptiness of false religion. Much of this is communicated through the thoughts of Rebecca, a Jew who is carried off by Brian du Bois-Guillbert, a knight who is enflamed with lust by Rebecca’s beauty. Rebecca is the champion of morality and steadfastness and it is through her captivity by the “Christian” knights that we truly see the hypocrisy that diseased the Church during the time of the Crusades. Scott also addresses fundamental issues of human nature in a manner reminiscent of a Shakespearian play. At times I was convinced Ivanhoe was a satire but then the veil of humor would drop and we could see the depth of the character’s flaws being handled with sobriety and a realism that made each of the many characters more human. Some of the more complex characters have moments of strength only to fall into sin in the next.

Cedric is blinded by his pride and is unwilling to mend his broken relationship with his son. Bois-Guillbert has been hurt in the past and has lost all compassion in his quest for fame. Ulrica is tormented by guilt from her past. Rebecca is torn between feelings for a man she can never have and doing what she knows is right. Each character reaps what he sows and the ending is classic poetic justice.

Between the beautiful syntax, plot twists, humor, action, and ample supply of chivalry at its finest, this book easily made it to my top ten list. 

P.S. I am starting a campaign to get Peter Jackson to direct this as his next film and I already have to cast list picked out! Let me know if you are interested in getting on board :)

Student Chats

  • Me: So, ahhh, did you actually practice this week?
  • Adorable seven year old: Ummm either I forgot to practice, or I practiced and forgot I did....

Anatomy of a Piano: Burt Part 1

This is Burt:

image

Burt was one of those pianos that no one really knew what to do with… The front of him had been destroyed by some horrible human who decided to glue a mirror along the entire front… More on that later. Anyway, no one really wanted him but there was something cute about him that made us hang onto him. 

And then there was a girl who lived in a small town and had just started taking piano lessons on a piano that had been given to her. A technician went out to tune her piano and had to give the sad news that the piano had a crack in places that crack’s aren’t supposed to be and was subsequently dead. Tears. The family couldn’t afford a new one. More tears. The soft hearded technician decided he had found a home for Burt and told the family they would be getting a new piano in a few weeks. More tears. (happy this time.) Now this technician happens to be extremely busy at this time of year and Burt needs a lot of work before being shipped off to the now happy little girl’s house. So, the author of this article (who also happens to be training as a technician) decided to take it upon herself to fix Burt while the other technician is out of town. 

How to fix Burt 101

Step 1: Take him apart and vaccum out the inside! Always my favorite part. Look at all that grossness….

image

Step 2: Take wood wipes to the cabinet.

Step 3: Knock over cabinet with the mirror glued on it and break it.

image

Step 4: Temporarily freak out and then reassure yourself saying, “No one liked it anyway…”

Step 5: Ponder the meaning of life while polishing the pedals as a way to distract yourself from the mess you just created.

Step 6: Let pedals “soak” in brass polish while scraping tape off the keys with a razor.

Step 7: Become very preoccupied with the sad state of the keys and forget about the pedals now encrusted in hardened brass polish. (Piano A.D.D. exists. Beware.)

Step 8: Call in a tuning buddie to clean up your mirror mess while doing something much more productive like leveling key height (Which takes FOREVER btw)

The front cabinet after a solid beating with a hammer…

Now for key height…

Sad Key Height: (note, look at the height, the tops are getting replaced soon.)

image

Happy Key Height:

image

Step 9: Replace the key tops.

Contrast:

It’s like botox for pianos… First you have to take off the old keytop with a razor and 1) try not to cut off your finger and 2) try not to destroy the key. 

Without tops:

Then you slather them in glue and put the new ones on!

Tada: 

Step 10: Look at them and sigh with happiness, then sigh with sadness because you just realized what a waste of time steps 6 and 7 were. Learning as we go folks… Now you get to go back and re-regulate key height because you can see all the fine adjustments that you missed the first time through!! 

The broken mirror front board is still under construction, but here is a picture of it looking decent: 

Student Chats

  • Me: name the note.
  • Student: Ummm A and C?
  • Me: No.
  • Student: *pause* C and A?
  • Me: Still no.
Life lesson: read the fine print when sorting through music at the library book sale.

Life lesson: read the fine print when sorting through music at the library book sale.

Highlights from the Teaching Week

1. Seeing two students who struggle with motor skills really starting to overcome them and make great progress with a lot of really driven, hard work.

2. Having a mom tell me she can see a lightbulb go off in the way her son is recognizing notes after three lessons with him.

3. Having a student flip open O Little Town of Bethlehem and start playing Christ The Lord is Risen Today, and then actually point on the music to a place that she messed up at. :)

4. Asked of a seven year old, “The two parts of music are pitch and…” Pause, think, “rhythm!!” Correct answer.

5. Watching a five year student do her flash cards in 59 seconds.

Anatomy of a Piano: Part 1 - Cleaning

This is Gwen.

Gwen is cute and small. I just got her on Saturday and I am going to take you through the process of transforming a sad-little-dejected-and-neglected Craigslist steal into a sparkling-well-taken-care-of-and-loved confident piano. So. Let the games begin!

The first step is cleaning. This is the easy part that everyone can do, but no one does until a technician comes along and says “ew gross” and cleans it herself. No one thinks to clean a piano, and really, there isn’t any scientific evidence that I can give stating that a clean piano sounds better, but your car doesn’t run better if the inside is clean now does it? Nope. It is just a principle. Clean pianos are happy pianos, and I like happy pianos. 

Step one is to clean all of the outside cabinets. I take it apart and then do each individual piece. I also vacuum everything. Except the strings. Yeah, don’t vacuum the strings. 

Then I clean the keys. You can take a wet wipe (I use a wood cleaning wipe which is basically good for every surface imaginable), or just a wet rag and scrub!

Before: 

After:

Then you polish the pedals. 

Before:

After:

Put it all back together and TADA! You now have a shiny piano. Anyone can clean a piano. It doesn’t bite, I promise.